“Joan spent all of the first day of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit that first day, but on the second she decided that, since no one could see her in her little roof spot, she would slip out of it to get an overall tan.
She’d hardly begun soaking up the rays when she heard someone running up the metal stairs and opening the door to the rooftop.Joan had been lying on her stomach, so quickly she pulled another towel over her backside to cover up.
“Excuse me, miss,” said the flustered assistant manager, out of breath from running up the stairs. “The hotel doesn’t mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we’d appreciate your wearing a swimsuit as you did yesterday.”
“What difference does it make?” Joan asked calmly. “No one can see me up here, and besides, I’m covered with a towel.”
“Not exactly,” said the embarrassed gentleman. “You’re lying on the dining room skylight.”
Talk about exposed! It’s terrifying until you realize one thing: when you’re naked and everyone knows it, you’ve got nothing to hide anymore.” — Johnson, Nicole. Fresh-Brewed Life Revised and Updated. Thomas Nelson.
OH, MY GOODNESS!!! What was she thinking??
COVID threw us into hyper drive trying to figure out a new way to keep our little church connected. I have tried my best to become a media expert overnight. We purchased all the equipment, downloaded new programs and upgraded to streaming licenses. Then I sat down at the new computer, ready to make magic. Instead of magic, I made mush…again and again. I scratched my head and pulled some hair out. I watched videos, talked to a friend who does this all the time, and gritted my teeth. I have been in my own little corner of the dining room pecking keys, plugging in all kinds of cords, and pulling my hair out. We tried streaming on Wednesday night, April Fool’s day, and the joke was on us. Twice we restarted and both times it flopped and failed. We were both embarrassed. I have a problem with perfectionism, and actually spent 7 hours on a 5 minute video. In fact, In the last two weeks, I have thrown more two-year-old tantrums than I can count. satan worked over-time the week before Easter!
**For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. Luke 8:17
This morning God laid my true heart out before me…bare and naked. He exposed things that I thought were done in secret in my dining room with the blinds pulled. As Joan thought she was secluded from the rest of the world, I have assumed I was alone and isolated in my corner. That was an illusion. My family has witnessed a side of me I thought was hidden and unexposed. I quit answering phone calls and texts honestly because frustration oozed from my every pore. Stress overtook my entire being. As God always does, He exposed the hidden, covered thoughts in my heart, that church had become work instead of worship.
The question is why?? Because I want to make our church look good and I want to look good doing it. I love our people and want to keep our people connected. I want Circleback to stay the same, unaffected by the isolation and shelter in place. My heart-felt cry these past two weeks is for nothing to change in our church family. I felt like I had to try to “keep it together.”
In the gentle way He always does, God reminded me that isn’t my call. It is His. So, through a simple Bible study, He asked me to re-center on Him, not the church. When I was ready to throw in the towel, the texts, comments, and phone calls started rolling in. We serve at such an amazing church and have great friends outside the church in the body of Christ!!
The other day a friend of mine said, “It doesn’t have to be perfect. Let God use the imperfections to speak to His people.” From here out, I want it to be about God, not Circleback, not me. I want Him to use my flaws to draw others in. Today I want to offer all of my gifts and my failures to be used for His glory.
I will continue to do our media activities and hopefully learn more in the process, but it will be about Him. If it isn’t perfect, so be it. If we blunder again for all the world to see, so be it. The glory will be His, mistakes and all.
I let the words of this author seep into the parched places of my weary and thirsty soul.
“Peace—real peace on the inside, from all this climbing, striving, and worrying. Joy—unabashed delight in life, regardless of the circumstances. Love—foundational, unconditional, never-ending love. I didn’t have to work for these; I had to surrender to them. More simply, I had to stop long enough to let them overtake me.”
“I let it go. I surrendered. I gave up being in charge of my spiritual goodness, because I could freely admit I didn’t really have much spiritual goodness. I had worked for God for years and yet withheld my full heart from Him. I’d sought to please Him, treating Him like a father who is hard to please, missing, or ignoring that He was pleased with me. I tried to do so many things for God that I missed being with God. Where was the goodness in that? I was the keeper of the covenant. I was the one making the sacrifice. I thought what Jesus did for me would be repaid by what I was doing for Him! God must have grown weary watching me and my spiritual calisthenics. If we just roll up our sleeves and try harder, we are not walking with Jesus at all. If we can do it all ourselves, why do we need God?” — Johnson, Nicole. Fresh-Brewed Life Revised and Updated. Thomas Nelson.
LORD, thank You for our church family, and how special each one is in our lives. Please keep us connected as a body as only You can. Thank You for allowing me to learn skills through that are valuable during this time to keep the church in communication with each other. Thank You that Benny can still pastor and lead, even through sheltering in place. Thank You for showing me these hidden places in my heart this morning, so I can stop, re-center, and allow Your peace to replace the stress in my soul. Remind me that I am never alone, and I cannot cover or hide anything from You. In the days to come, use our church for Your glory, mistakes and blunders, too. Be with all affected by the Corona virus. Heal their bodies, LORD. Be with the families that have lost loved ones or have sick they cannot comfort. Comfort and console them as only You can. Give them Your peace and Your Presence. Be our protection and our shield. Amen
**“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27
**And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
**This video is not Christian, it is just funny to me. COVID has thrown a lot of us into a funk. This is how I’ve felt these past two weeks, and I thought it might make you chuckle, too. Face it, we’ve ALL been there! My time ON THE PORCH is just a little more public!!
Duel at the mall Malcolm in the middle Car chasehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqqKEgrPhHo
ON THE PORCH 