PLEASEDONTSEEME

ON THE PORCH

PLEASEDONTSEEME

When Benny and I got to church early yesterday morning, there was a bunny in the u-shaped yard.  Since we got a little rain a couple weeks ago, we had grass she could nibble, and she was enjoying the cool of the morning before the blow dryer heat hit.  She was fine until we got out of the car, and I tried taking pictures.  Other than her ears twitching, she sat perfectly still. 

Then we let the dogs out of the car.  We knew Chewy couldn’t see that far.  The bunny was in no danger, but she didn’t know that.  As soon as she saw Wicket and Chewy, she flattened her body as close to the ground as possible.   Everything in her screamed, “Pleasedontseeme, pleasedontseeme, pleasedontseeme!”  If we hadn’t already spotted her, she would have blended into the background.

Life is like that for me sometimes.  If I feel threatened or worn down, I end up hiding from others, from myself, and sometimes even from God. 

Benny used to call me his “social butterfly,” because I had to visit everyone in the room before settling down.  I’d flit from this person to that person, then on to the next.  Now I feel more like the floor lamp in the corner.  Lamps normally blend in and aren’t noticed unless needed. 

When Sierra left for Basic, Benny and I made a conscious decision to stay away from others for 3 days.  It had been an emotionally taxing month, and we wanted to protect those raw places in our hearts from questions and comments that sometimes caused more bruising.   We purposefully timed our visits to town when we didn’t think anyone would be out, we skirted the outside of the aisles, and we stayed at home as much as possible. 

Life is hard, sometimes terribly hard.  When problems cross my path and my heart is hurting, my first inclination is to hide and lick my wounds…alone.

In fact, in a meeting I attended the other day, I said, “I work alone.  I will do anything you want in the background, behind the scenes, but do not put me with people.”

In the last few months, I have found myself not only hiding from others, but from God.  I’ve been emotionally bruised, and I didn’t want God’s probing and prodding.  It hurts.

As I began opening myself up, I’m finding that if I allow God access to the hurting places, He will heal them.  I may be bruised for a few days, but the soreness will lessen with time.  If I don’t expose those places to my Savior, they stay infected and continue to fester.  His healing hand is useless if I won’t give Him permission to use it.

I also must allow God to use other people in my life to help heal the wounds life inflicts.  He sends them regularly because He loves me and doesn’t want to see me hurting alone.  When they answer His call to “check in on me,” it is on me to answer the knock on the door or touch the “accept” button when the phone rings.

LORD, life is tough, and everyone seems to be hurting these days.  I have old hurts and current wounds I am trying to sort out on my own.  Allow me to give You total access to my heart and mind.  I ask that You perform a radical surgery if that is what it takes to begin the healing, then recovery of my mind and heart.  Help me answer the call of others wanting to just check in and be Your hands in my life when I am struggling.  Give me the courage to to open the door instead of just looking through the peephole or hitting “decline” when they call.  Prompt everything in me to sit alone with myself and with You with an open heart and an open mind as You speak truth into my situations.  Help me not hide, LORD.  Give me the courage to step out of the corner.  Amen

**”Can a man hide himself in hiding places so I do not see him?” declares the LORD. “Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?” declares the Lord.  Jeremiah 23:24

**And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.  Hebrews 4:13

OUT OF HIDING