Early one morning a few days ago, I went up to the church to get it ready for the festivities to come. It was still dark and cold outside, and all was quiet and still. Our little church is our second home, and I LOVE spending time alone there. It makes my heart happy.
But my heart didn’t smile when I walked in that morning. This Christmas season I have “been a little off”. That morning, I could not convince myself to feel “Christmas-y.” My heart was lonely, and I yearned for something more. I needed to feel the soft, gentle, loving touch of my Savior in a tangible way. And as He always does, Jesus showed up when I opened the sanctuary doors.
The lighted cross greeted me as I walked in before turning on the lights.
Benny and I are the janitors, so leaving this light on was an oversight on our part. But oh how thankful I was we missed this one in the daylight. That single moment quieted my heart, stilled my mind, and flooded my soul with peace.
Later I wondered if that was how Mary felt after all was said and done and, Jesus was sleeping soundly in her arms.
In one single moment, Mary’s entire future was turned upside down, inside out, and end over end. She was chosen to carry, give birth to, and mother the Son of God. If that weren’t enough, her husband understandably was hurt and confused and considered divorce. I am sure her family, friends, and community also rejected her in disbelief after she was found to be pregnant.
I would bet she felt a whirlwind of utter fear, wonder, awe, confusion, change, disbelief, possible doubt, terror, joy, and humiliation. She went from being just one of the village girls living her everyday life to being the chosen one from the prophesies to conceive and birth the Son of God.
And I thought we had had quite the year!!!
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Travel to Bethlehem with me. By law, Joseph was commanded to be there, and Mary was not going to have this baby without him. She was probably tired, grumpy, and 9 months pregnant. The little town was not just crowded that night, it was filled to the brim and overflowing. People, animals, carts, vendors, and activity absolutely everywhere. Bethlehem was out of rooms, out of time, and probably out of patience. I picture Joseph pleading with the innkeeper, “BUT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND…PLEASE, SIR!!!!”
It was a meager offering, but thankfully someone allowed the couple to take refuge from the elements in their stable. Mary and Joseph exchanged the city noise for that of hungry, cold, mouthy animals.
While Mary was in labor, that added a whole dimension of new cries. Screams from Mary as her body convulsed with labor pains and terrified protests from Joseph that Mary needed a midwife, and he was not even remotely qualified to deliver this baby. But as we know, our bodies will not allow us to pause the process. When the time of birth is upon women, there is no stopping it.
Then the glorious cry of the promised happy, healthy baby boy. Oh, how I wish I could have seen Mary’s face the first time she saw Jesus, the relief, the joy, and the awe of her baby finally making his grand entrance. I bet Jesus wailed as He was none too happy being so traumatically evicted from his warm, cozy womb.
I remember sitting outside the door of the delivery room while Grace gave birth to Wesley three months ago. Benny and I didn’t talk, we had our ears tuned to the sounds coming from their room. The first time I heard Wesley cry, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding for who knows how long, dropped my head, and wept. It wasn’t an emotion I had anticipated or planned, but it was raw, unfiltered relief that our first grandson was healthy and here.
Not long after Jesus’ birth, shepherds materialized at the entrance of the cave asking to worship the newborn King. Angels had appeared to them and sang of God’s glory.
So, there are more noises to add to our growing collection of sounds that Christmas night.
Eventually, the guests went back to their fields. The suffering, shock, and stress of the trip and the never-ending day melted away as Jesus suckled Mary’s breast and fell asleep content. Mary probably dozed with Jesus, still in wonder of the glory of the God she served and the newborn in her arms. Joseph calmed down and finished getting everything cleaned up and bedded down for the evening. And as they do, the animals slept.
At last, a silent night with a star shining above them as a soft night light.
**But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19
Last night as I rocked Wesley and sang to him while the kids were out on their anniversary date, I was overwhelmed with the tsunami of love in my heart for the baby sleeping in my arms, so peaceful and content. My heart lives in wonder as I get to enjoy the new faces he makes, and what he discovers, like chewing on his hands.
God is the ultimate Gift Giver, and He chose to give us His one and only Son. Jesus left the glory of heaven to grow up as a human, walk among us, die at our hands to forgive our sins, and allow us to spend eternity with Him. That is truly the greatest gift of all. I pray I never forget what it cost both God and Jesus.
Today, on this Christmas Eve, I not only want to focus on the Ultimate Gift but the little daily showers of blessings.
This week I got two huge kisses from the King, the lighted church cross in the early morning hours, and a grandson I adore sleeping in my arms. Both calmed my heart and eased my Spirit.
If you are struggling like I am during this Christmas season, know that God is always close. He truly never leaves us, but sometimes we must voice it out loud to remind ourselves that He is only a breath away.
Things aren’t always easy, life isn’t always fair, and sometimes it is hard to feel the Christ in Christmas. But God is good, and God is good at being God. He had every one of us on His mind two-thousand years ago on a cold, winter night when He sent His Son to earth.
LORD God, I thank you for 2022. It has been a year filled with ups and downs and twists and turns and awe and wonder. Sometimes we don’t feel the spirit of the season. Our hearts grieve our losses this year. We get lonely. We get overwhelmed. We get busy. Then we feel guilty. LORD, thank You for allowing us to feel the emotions we feel and loving us through them. Today, I ask for peace for those who are unsettled. I ask for comfort for those who are missing a loved one who passed away or are mourning other losses. I ask for joy for those who are having trouble seeing past tomorrow. I ask for Your healing touch on those who are having physical and mental issues that only You can heal. For those who are awaiting test results, job applications, financial burdens, or other life-changing concerns, hold their hand while they stand outside the door. For every one of us, LORD, I ask for hope, joy, and peace. Please remind us that spreading Your love and generosity brings joy into cold hearts. Thank You for the greatest gift of all, Your Son, and may we continue to recognize our blessings in the coming year. Amen
~ “One truly selfless act inspires another.” – Klaus movie
KING SIZE MANGER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4EAVjM52g0
~~ Mine and Benny’s favorite version of the Christmas story is told in Luke 2. Our family used to take turns reading it on Christmas morning every year.
**About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.
While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.
There were shepherds camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God’s angel stood among them and God’s glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:
Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.
As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the shepherds talked it over. “Let’s get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us.” They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the shepherds were impressed.
Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The shepherds returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they’d been told!
Luke 2:1-20 MSG
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Merry Christmas!
Love, Benny’s Bunch
ON THE PORCH 