“CRINA, HOLD YOU??”

**Seek the LORD while He may be found; call on Him while He is near.  Isaiah 55:6

Those who know me know that I ADORE my two grandbabies, Wesley and Teddy.   

Both are growing like weeds, and I’m afraid Wesley is outgrowing the playpen we use as a crib.  So, we bought a bed rail and decided to make him a “big boy bed.”  I threw all the pillows from the twin bed into the crib and moved the blankets and his pillow from the playpen.  We got the rail assembled and in place.  We were committed to this new endeavor.

Wesley thrives with routine, and we have had the same routine since we started keeping him.  So, after reading his book and singing to him, when I started to lay him down on the big boy bed, it confused him, and he kept looking towards the playpen.  I laid down beside him and sang until he went to sleep. 

A couple hours later, I heard noise on the monitor as Wesley roused.  He looked around disoriented because he was not in his usual place.  He called out “Crina, hold you??”

I crawled in bed and laid down next to him again.  I love almost everything that child does, but he tugged a little harder at my heartstrings in the dark that night as he felt around for my face with his tiny hands.  After realizing I was still there and hearing my voice, he sighed and closed his eyes, knowing he was still safe with me nearby.     

When I eventually tried to move, I bumped him, and he curled up into me, so that more of our bodies were touching.  He then wove his little arm into mine, so I was locked in.

In the dark that night, feeling his tiny breaths on my face, I started thinking about God. 

• How long has it been since I was close enough to feel His breath on my face? 
• How long has it been since I just snuggled in His arms without needing anything but His presence, without an ulterior motive, prayer list, or agenda? 
• How long has it been since I sighed, knowing He was there and had it and closed my eyes in content? 
• How long has it been since I called out, “God, hold You??”

Just as I sing to Wesley before he goes to bed, God sings over me.  I love the verse in Zephaniah that reminds us that He not only loves me, but He sings and rejoices over me.  As much as I love my grandboys, God loves me even more, and that is hard to wrap my brain around. 

During the summer, I picked up a saying that is wise and I repeat it to myself a lot.

“MY JOB IS TO TRUST GOD TO DO HIS JOB.” 

That’s it…just trust.  It doesn’t seem so hard, does it?  Yet this is one of my biggest struggles, and I flip-flop on an hourly basis.  Just trust and allow God to move and work as He see fit.  Simple, but not always easy!  I want to control the outcome and make sure things turn out the way I think they should. 

Wesley didn’t look for toys when he woke in the dark.  He went straight to the source of his trust and comfort when he called out.

Too many times, we try to comfort ourselves with other things, with friends, with scrolling, with avoiding.  There are a million ways to distract ourselves these days.  But when our heart hurts, we should be crying out to God to hold us.  He is the only true comfort. 

When Wesley comes to Crina and Grug’s house, he doesn’t make a conscious effort to think, “Okay, I will trust them this time, but that’s all I’m committing to.”  No!  He shows up knowing his needs will be met, our visit will be an adventure, and that he will be safe and comforted when needed.

Today, I want to be more like this precious child.  I want to seek God’s face, curl up in His lap, and know that I am safe and comforted.  I want to go straight to the source.  God knows what is best for me and will take care of me.  I just need to trust.  I want my cry to be, “God, hold You??” 

I don’t know if we will try the bed again next time or go back to the playpen, but I do know that Wesley never doubts that EVERY SINGLE TIME he puts those little hands up and asks Crina or Grug to “Hold you,” we will scoop him up, and he will always be safe in our arms.  

**The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will rejoice over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.  Zephaniah 3:17

**I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge, and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:2

GOD LOVES YOU

Chonda Pierce