WHERE ARE YOU, GOD?!?!

 

** “Lord, why are You standing aloof and far away? Why do You hide when I need You the most?”  Psalm 10:1

“You wake up one morning and all your spiritual feelings are gone. You pray, but nothing happens. You rebuke the devil, but it doesn’t change anything. You go through spiritual exercises . . . you have your friends pray for you . . . you confess every sin you can imagine, then go around asking forgiveness of everyone you know. You fast . . . still nothing. You begin to wonder how long this spiritual gloom might last. Days? Weeks? Months? Will it ever end? . . . It feels as if your prayers simply bounce off the ceiling. In utter desperation, you cry out, ‘What’s the matter with me?’ ” – Floyd McClung, Finding Friendship with God

Has your heart ever uttered the words, “WHERE ARE YOU, GOD??”   Mine has, and I’m ashamed to admit it.  As a seasoned Christian and pastor’s wife, those thoughts should never even enter my mind, right??

Well, I’m in good company.  When lamenting to God and asking why I couldn’t feel His presence as strongly as I desire and why He wasn’t answering in the time I needed Him to, He led me to Psalms, which is one of my favorite books of the Bible.  King David wrote a lot of the Psalms as songs to God, pouring his heart out.  If there was ever an honest-with-God man on earth, it was David.

**But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the Lord hath sought him a man after His own heart, and the Lord hath commanded him to be captain over His people, because thou hast not kept that which the Lord commanded thee.   1 Samuel 13:14

**And when He had removed him, He raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also He gave their testimony, and said, “I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will.”  Acts 13:22

Twice, God used the words “man after My own heart” to describe David.  He was a friend of God’s, and totally and completely honest with the LORD.  If anyone had issues, it was David. God traveled with him through many mountains and probably even more valleys. As I read the Psalms, I see a whole spectrum of emotions, from ecstatic and excited to depressed and downcast.  There was no guessing what was going on in David’s head.  So, why do I try to wear the mask with God and pretend?

** “Why have You forsaken me? Why do you remain so distant? Why do you ignore my cries for help?”   Psalm 22:1

Sometimes being an adult stinks.   Just when I’m getting my head above water and come up for air, another wave yanks me under.  Problems compound, issues stack up, and I feel like I end up at the bottom of a dog pile. 

When my health was at its worst and I suffered so much from fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis while the kids were growing up, I wondered where God was…a lot.  I felt like Benny, Xavier, Noah, and deserved more than a mom that could just “be,” like they had been short-changed somehow in the “Mom” department.  Being active and enjoying time with them shouldn’t have been such a struggle.  During this time, we had well-meaning people tell us that we weren’t praying hard enough, that we didn’t have enough faith and some even expressed that my prolonged health issues were a result of sin in my life that I needed to repent of. 

The fact of the matter is, I got West Nile which resulted in fibro and RA because we live in a fallen world.  Those were the effects of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Sometimes life just “is what it is.”

Thankfully, God uses those hard days for His good and His glory.  Because I have experienced the debilitating effects of autoimmune diseases, I can sympathize and love on others who are going through the same type of situation.   Benny and our kiddos are also compassionate and more sensitive to health issues because they lived through it with me.

Each morning, I try to send the kids a picture of our sunrise, and sunsets are sent on occasion, too.  Because some live in the city, they cannot enjoy West Texas skies God so generously paints for us.

The day I took the picture attached to this devo was one of our stormy days lately.  Believe it or not, the snapshot was at 12:45 p.m. just after lunch.  The skies were dark enough to have been near sundown.  The sun was still high in the sky, in the same exact spot it had been since the day God placed it in the heavens, but we got none of its light.  It was just hidden from view.

It is natural to feel at times like God is not present, but the truth is that God is still right where He always has been and always will be.  When I don’t see Him, He is there.  When I don’t hear Him, He is there.  When I don’t feel Him, HE IS THERE.  He is not absent and being hidden is only an illusion…cloud cover.   He is still there.

There are times in every Christian’s life we feel God more than others.  At times, we scoot closer and snuggle in.  Other times, we move further away and don’t feel as protected. 

I have come to realize that when my heart wonders and wanders, I sometimes have underlying factors that contribute to the problem.  When I am tired and worn, things seem a whole lot worse.  When my schedule won’t give an inch, I feel rushed in my quiet time, and just send up flare prayers.  When my body doesn’t have the proper fuel, I run out of steam quicker.  When my mind is cluttered and I am overwhelmed, that fellowship is sometimes one of the first things to fall away.   These are all things I can work on and try to correct.

But I’ve also discovered that at other times, God is silent or allows disruptions in our lives to grow my faith.   It is easy to serve God when we are on the mountain.  But praising Him in the valley is tough, real tough. 

When I truly seek God and feel like He does not respond immediately, He has a reason.  He is growing my faith in one way or another. 

During these “aloof” times, the Bible tells me to continue doing what I do when all is well.

• Read His Word.
• Keep the faith.
• Stay on my knees.
• Praise Him.
• Be still.
• And continue to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

God is not absent, and the silence will not last forever.  He never breaks a promise.  HE IS STILL THERE, and the sky will not be dark forever. 

**The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:8

I want to make a habit of waking up every morning with an open heart and listening ears.  When the storm passes, and the clouds clear, I want to be ready to bask in the light of the Son once again.   

**He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.   Psalm 46:10

LORD, when I don’t feel You as near as desire to, help me remember that You do not move.  There will be times I feel silence between us, and it doesn’t always mean something is wrong.  Sometimes it might, but other times You are working something out within me.  Remind me to be obedient even if I don’t feel Your overwhelming presence.  Whether I am on the mountain or in the valley, YOU ARE THERE.  Comfort my heart in times I hurt.  Give me Your peace that passes understanding, LORD.  Open my ears and my heart to hear You when You speak and remind me how precious and loved I am in Your eyes.  Remind me that I will see the light of the Son again soon.   In the meantime, remind me to be still and remember that You are God and will speak when You are ready.   In Your Holy and Precious Name I pray, Amen.

IN THE STILLNESS