CATCH THAT CAPUCHIN!

Forty-five minutes past our appointment time, the tour guide skidded up in a mule and said, “I’m so sorry.  We’ve been chasing Molly all morning.”   We hopped in and drove down the road and into the gate that guarded their hidden, exotic exhibits. 

As we climbed out of the mule, an exasperated woman walked up and said, “We are doing things a little differently with this group.  Start with Molly and let the gentleman talk.  She loves men and he is our ticket to catching her!!” 

Benny laughed nervously, and a flash of fur dashed in his direction.  He’d never encountered a capuchin, but he stretched his arms out and lowered it because he didn’t know what else to do.  Molly ran straight up the offered ladder and wrapped herself around his neck, quite snuggly I might add.  She grabbed his bag and picked out her favorite treat.  She nuzzled his neck and sat on his shoulders munching on her prize.  Molly manipulated Benny’s body into a jungle gym and danced around on him to her little heart’s delight.  They were having a great time.

Eventually, the owner of the zoo came to relieve Benny of his new best friend.  She was hiding behind him and grabbed Molly from the back.  What she didn’t realize, was that Molly was holding onto Benny for dear life…his cheeks to be exact.  From my point of view, it looked like he was getting his face ripped off.   The harder the zookeeper yanked; the harder Molly held onto her new friend.  Benny just closed his eyes and waited it out, hoping to keep his face intact.  Molly was finally pried from Benny’s body and placed in the enclosure.  

After evading capture all morning, Molly was thirsty.  She immediately went to her drinking dish.  She sat down beside it, drank a little, then made an odd little squeal.  We didn’t recognize it as sass, but the guide did.  Her head snapped up and she said, “Molly, don’t you dare!!  YOOOOOOU BETTER NOOOOOOT!!!”  Molly leaned over, took a sip of milk, then slowly and methodically dumped the rest on the ground, all the while staring straight into the guide’s eyes.  She threw a hissy fit and wanted to make sure her displeasure was noted.  This capuchin monkey had the anger issues of a grounded teenager.

We learned later that diapers are put on the monkeys, and they are free to roam the enclosed grounds after zoo hours.  When they are tired and ready for bed, they knock at the owner’s door, are taken inside, and are fed supper, and given a soft, warm, safe place to sleep.  Each morning they are placed back in their exhibit and the cycle repeats itself.  

Molly had escaped and evaded being caught that morning by staying out of the reach of her caretakers.  They chased her all over the exhibit and ranch house.  She refused to listen to their pleas and wanted to do things her own way. 

Running straight to the shelter of Benny’s arms that day was an act of rebellion, pure and simple.   She dashed for the first male voice she heard and snuggled up to him like they had been best friends for years.  Molly had never met Benny yet trusted him and clung to him as if her life depended on it. 

It was fun for a moment, but Molly wasn’t safe in Benny’s possession like she was in the zookeeper’s care.   He was fascinated with her, but he did not cherish her as her owner did.  He enjoyed the attention and entertainment, but her needs were not his top priority.  He didn’t have the means or knowledge to protect Molly.  He knew nothing of capuchins, except what he had casually seen and read.  Her entire existence depended on the ones she was eluding, yet she hung onto Benny for dear life.   The zookeeper had honorable intentions to love Molly, take care of her, and keep her safe, but was cast aside for temporary pleasure, something new to try.  Oh, how I do that to Jesus. 

I find myself seeking things to ease my mind and soothe my soul.  Sometimes it is worship music, Bible study, and sweet fellowship with God, but other times I replace it with counterfeit “stuff” that isn’t as beneficial to me at all.   When I do, instead of being soothed, I seethe.  Anger and strife rear their ugly heads and my soul cannot rest.  During these times, God still speaks, wanting to draw me back into His arms where I am truly safe and cared for, but I ignore His voice and want my own way.  I run and dodge His urgings and continue my reckless pursuits. 

**But You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.  Psalm 3:3

I had three meltdowns last week, one that ended up with me splayed in the middle of the dining room floor like a spilled drink.  While carrying something in my arms, I tripped over the baby gate.  When I tried to correct myself, my foot landed inside an empty laundry basket.  Yep.  I literally slipped, like on a banana peel, and went sprawling.   My emotions boiled over and erupted like a volcano.  These were not mild whimpers, but a wild-eyed-screaming-embarrassing tantrums asking “WHY!?!?!”   Thankfully I didn’t have an audience, and they stayed between me and God. 

God’s love for me did not change because of my fit.  He knew how I was feeling before I fell.  He was fully aware of my struggles and strife.  I was the one holding it all inside trying to “just put dirt on it.”   The fall just lit the string on the stick of dynamite of emotions packed inside me.  Instead of seeking Him out, I tried to deal with it on my own until I had enough and exploded. 

Looking back, I know I aimed my anger at the wrong target.  I am the one running and climbing, exhausting myself in the process trying to find something to comfort my mind, soul, and body.  I try to reshape these things to fit in the God-shaped hole of my soul.  I am guilty of trying to keep it all together on my own.  Stubbornly, I grab onto substitutes with a death grip and hold on for dear life. 

God stays right where He always has.  He is my shield and safety from the storm.   When I finally wear myself out and am hungry, thirsty and totally depleted, all I must do is ask.  When I knock, He ushers me into His rest, His protection, and His loving care.

I am tired of being like Molly.  Instead of running around in my own rebellion, I want to race into the shelter of my Savior’s arms.   I would rather snuggle under His wings than hide in shame.  I want to feast on His Word, not graze on the screams of the world around me.  My Father knows best.  He loves me with all His heart and will protect me and care for my needs.  I must calm down and allow Him to. Anything else I substitute to soothe my soul is a counterfeit and will leave me stranded. 

**He will shelter you with His wings; you will find safety under His wings.  His faithfulness is like a shield or a protective wall.  You need not fear the terrors of the night, the arrow that flies by day, the plague that stalks in the darkness, or the disease that ravages at noon.  Psalm 91:4-6

**For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: “I myself will search for my sheep and look after them.”  Ezekial 34:11

LORD, You already know it all.  You know my struggles, my overwhelm, my trials, and my rebellious streak.  I want to seek You with everything in me, but sometimes I still run for the first sound of comfort I hear. Thank You for not giving up on me when I throw tantrums and demand answers.  When I lash out in anger, bring Molly to mind.  Her life would have been forfeited by her own doing if the zookeeper left her in her rebellion and walked away.  I truly want to be more thankful and less selfish, LORD.  Prepare the way before me, walk beside me holding my hand, and be present behind me as my rearguard, LORD.  Remind me that You alone are my safe place and all I must do is knock.  In Your Precious and Holy name, amen.

GOODNESS OF GOD